How to Get Hotel Room Upgrades: The Email and Check-In Strategy That Works

Getting hotel room upgrades isn't about luck. It's about knowing when to ask, how to ask, and what to say when you arrive.

I've been upgraded at over 10 hotels in the past year using the same two-part strategy: a polite email before arrival + a genuine conversation at check-in.

Here's exactly how it works.

Step 1: Send an Upgrade Request Email (3-5 Days Before Check-In)

The upgrade email plants the seed with the hotel's reservations team.

When to Send Your Hotel Upgrade Email

Best timing: 3-5 days before your arrival

Why this works:

• Early enough for them to plan

• Late enough that they know room availability

• Avoids getting lost in their inbox

What time of day: Morning (9-11am) in the hotel's timezone, when the reservations team is fresh and checking emails.

What to Include in Your Upgrade Request

Your email should have three key elements:

1. Genuine excitement (not entitlement)

2. Personal context (why you're staying - birthday, first visit, anniversary, business trip)

3. Flexible ask ("if available" - you're asking, not demanding)

The tone matters more than the exact words. Hotels upgrade guests they think will appreciate it.

Subject Line for Hotel Upgrade Emails

Keep it simple and professional:

"Upcoming Stay - [Your Name] - [Confirmation Number]"

This ensures your email gets to the right person and is easy to find in their system.

Step 2: Have a Real Conversation at Check-In

The email sets you up. The in-person moment seals it.

What to Do When You Arrive

Most people walk up to the front desk, hand over their ID, and scroll their phone while the agent processes check-in.

If you spend 2-3 minutes being present and kind, you're already ahead of most guests.

Easy Conversation Starters

You don't have to be super chatty. Just kind and present.

Try these:

• "How's your day going?"

• "Have you worked here long? What do you love about this hotel?"

• "Any breakfast recommendations for tomorrow?"

The key: Treat the front desk agent like a person, not a transaction.

How to Mention Your Email (Without Being Pushy)

Once you're chatting naturally, you can say:

"I sent a note a few days ago about my stay - not sure if you saw it, but either way, I'm just really excited to be here."

This reminds them without pressure. If they saw it, great. If not, you've still made a positive impression.

The Secret Advantage: Hotel Elite Status

Here's what many travelers don't know: front desk agents have significantly more flexibility to upgrade elite members.

Elite status signals to the hotel that you're a valued, repeat guest - even if it's your first time at that specific property.

How to Get Hotel Elite Status (Without Staying 50 Nights)

Some credit cards give you automatic elite status the day you're approved:

American Express Platinum Card

• Automatic Gold status with Marriott Bonvoy and Hilton Honors

• Access to Fine Hotels + Resorts program (includes room upgrades, $100 property credits, daily breakfast)

• Premium travel benefits and airport lounge access

• Learn more about the Amex Platinum Card →

Capital One Venture X Rewards Credit Card

• Premium hotel benefits through Capital One Travel

• Flexible travel rewards (2X miles on everything)

• $300 annual travel credit

• Access to Capital One Lounges and Priority Pass

• Learn more about the Capital One Venture X →

(Note: These cards have annual fees. Make sure the benefits align with your travel habits before applying.)

What If the Hotel Says No?

Sometimes there's genuinely no availability. That's okay.

How to respond: "No problem at all - I totally understand! I appreciate you checking."

Stay warm and gracious. You can also ask: "Are there any other perks available? Maybe a late checkout or restaurant recommendation?"

Being kind when denied actually increases your chances on future stays at that hotel.

Want the Exact Email Template?

I've put together the full upgrade request email template - including the exact wording, customization options for different occasions, and timing strategy.

It's free. Download it here:

Get the Free Hotel Upgrade Email Template →

See These Strategies in Action

See These Strategies in Action

Want to see what this looks like in practice?

I share my actual hotel stays on Instagram in a series called "Perks & Stays."

Each episode breaks down:

• Which credit card benefits I used (Amex Platinum FHR, Capital One Travel, etc.)

• How I maximized hotel loyalty programs (IHG Ambassador, Marriott Bonvoy)

• The points strategies and booking approach for each stay

Plus the experience itself - the rooms, the perks, the vibe.

Recent episodes:

• InterContinental Mark Hopkins

• Four Seasons San Francisco

Follow along: @elevatewithelie

The Bottom Line: How to Get Hotel Upgrades

Getting hotel room upgrades comes down to three things:

1. The email (send 3-5 days before, warm tone, flexible ask)

2. The conversation (2-3 minutes of genuine kindness at check-in)

3. Elite status (use credit cards to stack the odds)

None of this is complicated. It's just about being thoughtful, present, and kind.

Try it on your next hotel stay. Even if you don't get upgraded, you'll have a better experience.